fall in love with gardening...

Ask any gardener and they will tell you that no matter how small a garden, it is a time and labour intensive undertaking - and one that to an outsider may not seem worth the effort for the yield a home garden often produces.

However, I am of a mind (and am certainly not alone) that we get so much more out of gardening than the end result of food.

It's therapeutic. Today was an incredibly stressful day at work. Now don't get me wrong, I love my day job. I have the opportunity to help people become more financially literate and independent, and best of all it allows me to afford to have the home life and gardens that I do. And for that I am grateful. Yet like any job, you have your great days and days that you question why even got out of bed. Today was one of the latter. So after dinner I escaped to the quiet of the garden to clear my head and just breathe.

At first the quiet allowed my mind to run circles around everything I felt had gone wrong today. But slowly, without even realizing it, I was relaxed and instead focused on every weed I pulled, every vegetable I fussed over.

Perhaps it's the repetition, though I'm not 100% convinced. I've participated in repetitive chores before: machine sewing (but not hand sewing - that I love!), grass mowing, washing dishes, etc. But I do not get the same enjoyment or calmness that I do in the garden. You just can't beat the fresh air, singing of the birds, and smell of moist soil to calm a turbulent soul.

It's gratifying. It can be difficult to have an appreciation for the food you purchase at the grocery store. Even I (who knows the effort that goes in to growing even a single tomato) do not pay the fruit and vegetables I purchase much more attention that to make sure they're ripe and unspoiled. And pre-made items? Even less so. But when you've spent a month and a half coaxing a small tomato seedling in to a giant, covered in delicious red fruit? That's appreciation.

Even better is when you know that the beautiful fruit you are about to eat is the direct result of your time and effort. There are few things in life I have found to be more satisfying that to look at a full garden in early August bursting with food and to know "I grew that." Unlike many other tasks that are more abstract in nature, gardening allows you to see the physical fruit of your labours. (And I will not apologize for the pun!)

It's educational. I've already established that growing your own food gives you an unsurpassed appreciation for the true value we should be placing on what we consume. With gardening, I get to share that realization with my children.

I cannot stress enough the importance of educating the next generation on where their food truly comes from. Whether it is the plants we grow or the meat we consume; knowing not only where you food comes from but what journey it took to get to your plate is crazy-important. Firstly, it gives us a greater appreciation for the food we eat, and helps us to become less wasteful. Secondly, by knowing the journey our food takes to our homes we can demand higher standards. And by higher standards I mean the treatment and final moments of the animals we consume, and the products and methods that are used to grow our produce.

In ignorance we allow atrocities to happen everyday in the name of greater yield and production (and this coming from a self-proclaimed meat-avore), and so-called pest-reducing chemicals that are poisoning and stripping our soil of all nutrients. Then we add more synthetic chemicals to replace the nutrients we destroyed. Does this sound logical to you?

Sharing gardening and farming with our children is the first step towards ending that ignorance.

It's inspiring. Many times Chris and I have encountered situations were the topic is "taking away the magic of childhood." I'm sorry, but that is rubbish. Childhood is inherently magical. Life is magical. How can one tiny seed, smaller than my finger, eventually turn in to a towering maple tree with just the rain from the sky and the warmth from the sun? We get to experience that every year. We watch as our yard goes from a freezing, seemingly barren environment to a lush tropical oasis in a matter of months.

And within each plant is a small ecosystem all it's own. Worms and ants build and thrive beneath the soil, butterflies and bees grace the flowers. Birds, absent in the winter months, grace our little "homestead" with the beauty of their songs from dawn to dusk; feeding on the unwanted insects that might otherwise spoil our crops.

In as many years as I've been gardening, I find I am still excited when I see the first sprouts push through the soil. Even when we are visited with blight or another calamity that affects our crops, the following year those same plants develop again unharmed. With or without our guidance, life perseveres.

Perhaps that's the most important lesson of all. Some years it is the tomatoes who fail, other years it is the squash. Yet every year there is bounty, and a diversity in the plants, animals and insects that follow our garden. With or without us, our garden would thrive, and the same can be said about the rest of the world. Changes will happen as a result of our actions, but life on our planet itself will continue. It is up to us to ensure we continue along with it.

Musings of a Working Mother

This post is long overdue. I know. I just haven't had the drive nor the energy to write; not so much because I've been tired (working, Easter-dinner cooking and being sick will do that to you!), but because there's been so much I've wanted to say that I think I became overwhelmed.

I've been back to work now since the first week of April, and I am still not sure how I feel about it. To be honest, in the few weeks leading up to going back to work was dreaded it so much. The idea kept me up at night; and whenever I thought about it during the day I would get a tightness in my chest and a knot in my stomach that I just couldn't shake. I wanted to weep, but couldn't; I wanted to scream, but wouldn't. I wanted to cry out to the world how unfair it was that I had to leave my little boys, my most precious and too young boys in the care of another just so we could afford to feed, clothe and house them. I will not even get into how I feel about a society that no longer supports a single-income family. Oh that I could return to the days of being a "home-maker," content to provide the warmth and support of a loving home, and leave the "working" world to my husband! Is there really anything wrong with wanting that?

I know I am not alone. I know there are many mothers (and fathers!) out there who feel the same way. We are quite fortunate, we have a dear friend who comes into our home to watch the boys while we are at work, and being at home in a comfortable, familiar environment has made the transition easier for them.
Knowing that does give me peace of mind to know the boys are safe at home during the day, though it doesn't make going to work that much easier. It's not that I don't want to work, trust me. It's actually been quite nice to be in the company of adults again, and to have a new set of challenges and goals to work towards that are not only home-oriented (and I even enjoy having to dress up and wear make-up again!). Yet there is still so much I want to accomplish at home, and the tasks are only going to get harder as we head into planting/gardening season.

I find that I just can't achieve a balance: either I spend my free time at home cleaning/catching up on chores such as laundry and then the boys suffer for my attention, or I spend the time catering to their needs and desires and the house becomes neglected. It seems lately that I can never spend enough time with them; when I have just finished playing "swords" with Lucien and go to start the dishes, he breaks down in tears because he wants to play with me longer.

And at the end of the day I am so exhausted that I do not have the energy to even knit, or the mental capacity to sit down and write or plan for the store. I can hear you all now: "you are crazy to be opening the store on top of this!" But that is my dream, my passion, and I am not willing to give up on it even if it kills me!

How does one do it? I keep coming back to the word balance, because that truly is my goal for the moment. I need to find balance between working at work and working at home. I need to find balance between my time spent with the boys, and Chris, and also myself. I need to be able to see what is really important (For example I am still adamant that making our baked goods from scratch, without the added preservatives and sugar/salt, is important. Time intensive yes, but important nevertheless!), and what can be put on the back burner, at least for now. But I am at a loss for how.

Even now, I've hit a roadblock. I have more I'd like to say, but I cannot see past the mound of dishes in the sink, or the little boy tugging at my sleeve to come watch The Lord of the Rings. So I shall leave it at this, and hope that somewhere, out there in the vastness that is our universe, there in an answer to my plight of balance!

Yarn Store Logo

We now have a logo for the yarn store:

It was so much fun to design, and it really captures the feeling I wanted. I am quite happy with it if I do say so myself!

Do what you love!

I have to be honest, the blog has been one of the furthest things from my mind the past few weeks. It started with the flood in our basement, but that was cleaned up within a few days. Though we're still dealing with the aftermath of the insurance and cleaning company (and trying to figure out what happens now with everything that was destroyed), it is no longer the urgent disaster that it was.

But what has been all-consuming for me has been a new venture that I (and by exstention; our family) am starting. I'll admit it, I get distracted easily. As soon as something new and shiny comes along, I have difficulty not becoming all-consumed to the exclusion of everything else. It's something I'm working on!

The new venture is something I have been dreaming of for a few years now. I've talked of it often to family and friends, but it was always along the lines of "what if...?" or "if we ever won the lottery..." Chris a few weeks ago began to encourage me to look at the numbers and begin research to see if it would be viable, and the result is:

I am opening up my own yarn store!

Now, my research is not complete. One of the largest unknowns is on the market research end of things; at the moment I do not know just how much of a demand and interest there is to support such a store. I know our community has many knitters, crocheters, and fiber artists, but not if there is enough to support a full-fledged store.

There are several considerations, the first being that the store must be successful enough to allow me to hire a full time manager. I will not work in the store, for several reasons. For one; it will allow me to focus on being an entrepreneur, and not on the day-to-day operations, and second; it will allow me to continue to work at my day job without wearing myself out (or taking too much away from family time). Especially for the first few years I believe it's important to not throw all my eggs in one basket, and if the store turns out to not be financially successful, I will still have been working throughout it all.

So to test out the market I will operate the store at first on a smaller scale. Starting this June, the pilot project, operated out of our home, will open. It will be a part-time venture that will run for 12 months, at the end of which I will have a much better idea of what kind of market there is in the area. I am so excited!

Many people will tell you to find what you love or where your passion lies, and use that to make your living. So in my own way, that's what I am trying to do!

So I must ask for the pardon of my readers. Things are not the planning frenzy they once were, so I can now focus once more on this blog, and the home and garden aspects of my writing.

I am also working on a website for the store. Once it is complete, I will be moving any of the knitting and crafting patterns/tutorials over there (of course links will be posted!), and this site will once more focus on the "homesteading" parts of our lives.

Oh, and for anyone following the news, I refuse to omit the words "urban homestead" from the blog. I will continue to use, and encourage others to do so as well and not back down. If you have no idea what I am talking about, check it out here.