Dealing with loss

This is a post that was supposed to be completed back on the 16th of May, but just didn't have the heart to finish. The feeling of loss is still there, but its faded now from an overwhelming sadness to a almost an inaudible crack in my heart, an empty sort of whole that just sits there. We havn't had much luck with a surveyer yet, but at any rate, to have a survey done (which must happen in order for us to pursue any sort of recourse with our neighbour) will set us back about $1,000.00; no small sum. I think we are trying to just forget it ever happened, which is near impossible: to walk in our backyard and see the stump, and the glaring heat on our deck, which at one time was mostly shade. I still don't fully know how to describe how this has left us....

We lost a member of the homestead yesterday.

Both Chris and I were awoken to the sound of chainsaws and powertools, which is really nothing of note for a Summer Saturday morning. We got up, and went about our morning routine without giving it much thought, other than for me to post on Facebook "I wonder what poor tree is being mutilated/destroyed outside..." It wasn't until Chris went outside to let our dog out back that he came back in, fuming.

Apparently the tree was one of the large, 100 ft tall, 100 year old maples that straddled the border between our backyard and our neighbour's.

There was no warning, no consultation with us. And because we do not have a survey of where the property line actually is, so far it looks as if we cannot do a darn thing about it. Chris went right away to go talk to them, but our neighbour was not home, it was his father overseeing the job. And because it was a Saturday, we were unable to contact our municipality, or a by-law officer. In desperation, Chris phoned the OPP, hoping to just get some information, but even after talking to a couple officers, all they could tell us was that it was a civil issue (which we knew!).

Now it's Sunday, and every time I look out the back I am overwhelmed with grief. That tree provided so much shade to our yard (the deck is now almost unbearable at noontime), not to mention privacy and noise reduction from a major street. I am so upset - cutting down that tree just seemed so random and senseless - it will be a lifetime before another one will ever be that big.

I can understand if they were afraid of it rotting and falling on their house (which could have been a possibility, though so far none of the branches I've seen so far looked like they had any rot whatsoever), but the fact that they did not even mention it to us, let alone get our permission just galls me. But apparently, in the town of Penetanguishene, you do not need a permit to cut down a tree, no matter how large. All you need it to have a licenced arborest take it down. Chris even went over to ask what was happenening with the wood, but it's already been sold. We shall see. I need to talk to the town on Monday, and see what recourse we have, if any. Even without a proper survey, the trunk was so large, and because of the position, there is no doubt that it falls on our property as well as theirs. But it is looking more like it may have been entirely on ours....