Resolution Time

It seems as if every New Years I make the same type of resolutions: to loose weight; get in better shape; or just to eat healthier (though I do remember one year while still in school resolving to make smarter financial decisions - IE. not to spend so much frivolously!). This year however, my resolutions are much more family-oriented.

For starters, I need to seriously tackle Lucien's potty training. Over the summer I started (but not with much earnest) and then when the holidays approached it was abandoned entirely. I know Lucien is ready, at this point his main set back has been a lack of consistency from me. He got some brand new Spiderman briefs from Santa this Christmas, now it's time to put them to work.

All you mothers reading this; wish me good luck and infinite patience!

Secondly, now that it's January, I am starting to look ahead to April when I will be going back to work. I'll be honest: I am still unsure of how I feel about that. I miss my coworkers, and even like the idea of spending time in adult company again. Yet I am saddened that I will no longer be home all the time with my boys.

I am sure this is something every working mother goes through, no matter how old her children are when she re-enters the workforce. I find it comical that I feel this way now though; by the time Lucien was 4 months I was already back at work.

Perhaps it's because I've had this past year spending 24/7 with both boys, but I feel like Marcus is still too young to be left in the care of someone else. And the fact that breastfeeding is still going strong, I don't want to give up that special bond that he and I share.

And there are other considerations. Being at home, I've slowly built up a great routine over the past months in which I've included art and activity time with Lucien, a some-what regular cleaning schedule, and increased the amount of made-from-scratch foods exponentially. In fact, apart from crackers, all the baked goods we consume are made from raw ingredients; cookies, breads, pizza, snack foods... not to mention the canned goods I've made as well. We have been able to limit the amount of processed foods our family consumes to a bare minimum and I am sure we are all healthier because of it. However, I worry that I will not be able to maintain this once I am back at work. Or, I'll maintain it, but wear myself out. Not sure which is worse!

My head tells me that everything will work out, and it will just be the next chapter in our family's day-to-day routine. But my heart doesn't really believe it. So for the next three months, my second resolution is to prepare our family (and myself!) for the return to work.

Things are going to be busy!